This is what happens when I let my mind wander.

So, if his theme music is to be believed, Yogi Bear sleeps until noon, but has every picnic basket in Jellystone Park by sunset. Last time I checked, picnics are traditionally a lunchtime affair. And as we all know, Yogi is pretty civilized – sure, he doesn’t wear clothes beyond his shirt collar, green tie, and snappy hat, but you’d have to presume he at least showers and brushes his teeth, which would take at least 15-20 minutes. Assuming the tie’s not a clip-on, by the time he completes his look and ventures out of his cave, it’s at least 12:30 PM. So…

  • Is Jellystone Park starting some kind of happenin’ ‘late-afternoon’ picnicking trend?
  • Are the lunchtime picnickers just really lazy, and allowing their food to spoil? (And, in that instance, is Yogi actually doing them a favor?)
  • Is Jellystone Park frequented by environmental activists, insistent on ignoring Ranger Smith and feeding the animals anyway (intentionally allowing Yogi to steal their baskets)?
  • Is there some strange time/space phenomenon at the entrance to Yogi’s cave, causing it to be noon inside and dawn outside?

William of Ockham tells us that all other things being equal, the simplest solution is the best. Which means, of course, that…

  • Yogi Bear is a ninja.

Think about it. He’d have to be really fast to get all of those baskets. He’s constantly giving Ranger Smith the slip. He speaks in riddles. And bears are the #1 threat to America. It all adds up.

You think about it. Think. About. It.