And now, …THE HELL???, brought to you by Eh…, for no particular reason.
Today, I give you your choice from the world gone mad…
German penises ‘too small for EU condoms’
–OR–
Thieves try to steal entire garage
–OR–
Love Parade noise gave zoo animals diarrhoea
Insert your own jokes in the COMMENT box.
This just in from News Askew:
In other big news, apparently that Wizard special edition book has hinted that the next View Askew film will be “Clerks: Sell Out”, the R-rated Clerks animated film. Upcomingmovies.com broke the scoop and we’ve yet to confirm from other sources. This does seem likely as Kevin has been mentioning the project recently. We’ll keep you posted. A summer 2002 release is targeted, meaning you’ll see another View Askew production theatrically in less than a year. Things may have changed since that book was struck to print, though.
YES!
So, I’m driving home on the Turnpike tonight, and somewhere around Exit 13, I happen to glance over at the truck lanes. Now, as anyone who have driven the NJ Turnpike knows, there are these ancient neon signs every 5-10 miles that flash information about road conditions further ahead. And as anyone who has driven the Turnpike knows, these signs are very rarely 100% functional. So anyway, I look over at the truck lanes, and I guess one of the neon signs was trying to say “REDUCE SPEED – ACCIDENT AHEAD”. Except that the neon for “reduce” and “ahead” weren’t working – so the sign simply said “SPEED ACCIDENT”. I’m not entirely sure why I found this so amusing, but I did.
I’m suddenly reminded of the “Abad” countdown from my high school graduation…
BBC SPORT | FUNNY OLD GAME | Patel of a day for cricket
Umpire Roy Higgins knew he was in for a long day when he strolled onto the cricket field to find all 22 players shared the same surname.
Poor old Roy was left scratching his head when each man introduced himself as Mr Patel.
I’m paying back karma at a vastly accelerated rate. And for the life of me, I don’t know why. =(
Shameless Plug.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m involved with a theater group in NYC called Ring of Fire Productions. Well, we’ve got a piece coming up called ROADICIDE: The Album, directed by Michael Alltop. (More info on the show here.) It’s being produced for the American Livingroom Festival, which I’m told is a very big deal indeed, as Lincoln Center Theater has something to do with it. (Details here.)
We’re part of a triple bill running July 31 and August 1 only – if you’re in the NYC area, please come out and support us. The performances are at HERE (145 6th Avenue), tickets are $12, and can be purchased via TicketWeb – click HERE for the July 31 performance, and HERE for the August 1 performance.
“Hi. We’re on ‘Big Brother’. And we are massive tools.”
BBC News | TV AND RADIO | US Big Brother evicts knifeman
CBS bosses report he was then seen to pull a knife on the 28-year-old waitress, saying “Hang on, I’m going to slash your throat. Would you get mad if I just killed you?”
He later insisted it had been a joke.
You know, it’s things like this that make me really ashamed of being in the entertainment industry sometimes.
Damn that stupid Taco Bell commercial – I’ve had the theme from “Bonanza” stuck in my head all day.
And now, the Futile Money-Grubbing Effort of the Week, brought you you by Rerun, home of the existential whopper:
‘Millionaire’ Contestant Sues for Second Chance
The question Rosner missed was, “What capital city is located at the highest altitude above sea level?” La Paz, Bolivia, is the world’s highest capital, but Rosner said La Paz was not one of the four choices he received.
THIS is grounds for a lawsuit now? Sorry, but I’m not buying it – the question doesn’t say “what is the highest capital IN THE WORLD”, the question was which was the highest AMONG THESE FOUR CHOICES. Anyone who has seen Millionaire for more than 5 minutes knows that’s how the game works. This yutz is trying to get the 15 minutes of fame he thinks he would have had, if only he made it to the million dollar question – that’s a lot of “if”s. Oy.
And that’s my final…ah, screw it.