Update – 9/16, 11:30pm
Please note that the following was posted in anger and haste. In all honesty, it doesn’t address what I was really upset about on Sunday…I was angry and hurt, and this just happened to be what spewed forth from my mind. It’s almost more like a parody of what I was really thinking, because it managed to address the least relevant part of what I was upset about. Also, it enraged a lot of people close to me – and for that, I’m sorry.

I’ve always endeavored to not censor either myself or my friends/readers in this space. To that end, I’m not going to try and “roll back time” by pulling the post down and pretending this didn’t happen. What I can do is prostrate myself at the feet of my friends and beg forgiveness for being a complete and utter ass these last few days.

You know something? I almost never comment on birthday presents, mainly because I’ve never wanted to appear greedy (in advance), a braggart (if I got a lot), or bitter (if I got squat). But this year…fuck it.

I just wanted to give a public thank you to my parents, Darren, and Denise, who thought enough of me to get me something for my birthday, even if there wasn’t a huge party/gathering/extravaganza surrounding it. (I’ve never been crazy about celebrating my birthday, and for whatever reason, 29 hasn’t sat very well with me. But still…)

For others who might be reading this, just three things:
1) I try very hard to find gifts that people will like when their birthdays or the holidays come up.
2) Think about how you’d feel if you got nothing on your birthday.
3) What goes around comes around, and reciprocity is a bitch.