How to turn yourself into

How to turn yourself into a walking sight gag, in 8 easy steps.

1. Go to vending machine, purchase 16oz beverage…say, orange juice. (Preferably the kind without pulp.)
2. Return to your desk. Place bottle on desk.
3. Shake bottle vigorously. Open cap, without removing it. Return bottle to desk.
4. Forget about juice for about 5 minutes.
5. Remember that juice is on your desk. Pick up the bottle.
6. Shake vigorously. Hold expression for approximately 15 seconds after realizing you have just splashed juice on yourself and your computer, alternately.
7. Say “D’oh”.
8. Excuse yourself from your desk (and your hysterical co-workers), find some paper towels, dry self off.